We are faced with enough stress of life, most of which are self-inflicted in one way or another, sometimes without even realizing it. Too much pressure can make a lot of us angry, fed up or sad and even affects our health negatively. This pressure comes with lots of responsibilities, goals to achieve at a particular time, pressure from parents and family members, the government and society at large. Sometimes, the so-called standards you are trying to live up to is like dangling a carrot above your head that you keep moving up higher and higher but never reach.
Here are some reasons why you should not put pressure on yourself.
1. Be Okay with mistakes and failure: We are naturally scared of failing because of how we are trained to perceive failure. If you allow yourself to redefine mistakes, you’ll be less prone to get yourself stuck in perfectionism. The morning of the day when you learned to ride a bike you fell off it time and time again but you just brushed yourself off, perhaps cried for a minute or two and then you got up on the bike again. And towards the afternoon, or the next day, you probably started to become pretty good at riding your bike. The same applies here. Redefine it in your mind to lessen the negative emotional impact and the fear. See failure simply as feedback on what you need to improve on.
2. Understand High Achievement vs. Perfectionism: Many people slip into perfectionistic habits, not realizing that there is a better way to do their best without beating up themselves along the way. Many perfectionists, on some level, believe that they need to attain perfection or they have failed; this belief can not only lead to stress and more pressure, upon pressure.
An important step is to recognize the difference between perfectionism and high-achievement and really understand why perfectionism is more a form of self-sabotage than an asset. When it comes to stress, “do your best” is better than “be perfect,” and in the long run, it’s healthier as well. If you find yourself emotionally “holding onto” mistakes you’ve made, noticing more of what you’ve done wrong than what you’ve gotten right, and getting anxious when you do a good-but-not-perfect job, be aware that there is a better way.
3. Take social media with a pinch of salt: While we are trying to stay connected and trendy, social media can also leave you burdened. A world where everyone pushes themselves for likes and followers, things to share which are mostly not true. What we see on the net is usually not the actual representation of people’s lives, it’s mostly made up. So, don’t spend your time wishing to have a perfect life and hating the one you have. It only fills you up with negative feelings and that won’t help anyone.
2. One of our enduring social fallacies is the idea that what others think about us actually matters: We spend most of our time and energy worrying about what people think, feel and say about us. This fuels anxiety, driving us from people-seeking behaviour to codependence and to living a false life. Truth be told, most people aren’t thinking about you, they are busy with being focused on their own lives and challenges.
So, here’s what you do when you feel too pressured or going through pressure.
1. Make sure the important tasks that need the most energy and concentration at that time is done
2. Make a list of things you have to do. Set smaller and more achievable targets.
3. Try not to do too much at once, take breaks and take things slowly.
4. Eat well and stay hydrated.
5. Speak to a therapist it helps.
6. Ignore bad energy and vibes, think positive and healthy thoughts.
7. Learn to relax, be generous to yourself.
While taking care of yourself and adopting healthy habits is essential for stress management, we must also learn that we don’t need to look out for validation, our essential nature is all we need to be fully us.
BY SHEYI AKANBI